Control and manipulation - part 2

Control and manipulation is so much a part of certain cultures that it is seen as just part and parcel of everyday life. Ireland is no different.

While living in India we were often confronted with people in positions of authority who loved to use their position to garner reward through illicit and manipulative ways. It was a very obvious part of culture. Just because it may be less obvious in Ireland though does not mean that it is absent, just dressed up in different 'clothes'.

Manipulation comes in lots of shapes, packages and guises. From a parent who threatens to withdraw love or support if their will is not performed, to a wife that withholds sexual intimacy from her husband repeatedly to prove how displeased she is with him...to a friend in a school classroom who tries to make another feel bad or guilty in order to garner their undevoted attention...to a work-colleague who belittles another or sows seeds of disapproval and slander in a perverted attempt at self-agrandizement and ladder climbing....the list of possibilities is endless and so are the day to day realities.

Jesus Himself never manipulated anyone

. He spoke the truth in love and told us that the truth (that we know) will set us free! He came to bind up the needy and broken, and His Gospel is one that brings us into radical heart transformed but willing freedom not compulsion through guilt.

Some steps in getting free of the effects of relational control and manipulation,

1) Identify - What we are not aware of can continue to harm us. People who live near a railway line often become completely unaware of the noise as each train passes by. This is a process of time and becoming conditioned to the enviromental factors around oneself. The Spirit of God gives us discernment though and helps us to 'test the spirit' of a person and their words and attitudes.

2) Contextualize - Please remember that, for the Christian, we 'wrestle not against flesh and blood' (Ephesians 6) Manipulation is never acceptable in my opinion but it is important to remember that people who manipulate or try to control others may have never learned another way of operating from their own upbringing. This does not excuse their behaviour but it can help to give us patience. The other thing is that when we realise that demon powers are often at work, through oft' unsuspecting personalities, even Christians (I am not infering here 'possession' of Christians but rather that they are 'aligned' incorrectly) it gives us perspective that many of these battles (spiritual in nature) need to be won by regaining our 'legitimate authority' in Christ, being surrendered to the subtle but dark and 'spiritually illegitimate' methods of coersion. This authority we have as sons of the Lord is our inheritance but we have to learn how to live in this.

3) Submit - Aha says you, this is where Shiels has got it wrong. No not to manipulation! Read on. James 4v7 'Submit to GOD, resist the devil, and he will flee from you'
We must submit to God before we can effectively resist the devil and his devices. Let me give you an example of how this operates.

If someone is hosting an attitude laden with manipulation, then tied into this is often a spirit of intimidation. This aims to bring fear

. The Bible tells us that fear 'has to do with punishment' - or 'consequences' As such, intimidation works at its most destructive when 'fear of consequences' dominate and control the intended 'victim'. This was Jezebel's aura and continues to operate through unsuspecting or sometimes co-operative hosts who have sold out to the perceived rewards beyond any sense of propriety. Our God, however, is not a God who intimidates in order to control...

The Bible's and therefore God's remedy to intimidation, and the control this brings, is quite simple - PERFECT LOVE. 'Perfect love casts out fear' we are taught! How does this work though? Is it a warm fuzzy feeling or something like that? Well, I don't think thats the context. Jesus is always our greatest example - perfect theology if you like! Jesus never surrendered to the will of satan, even when He was nailed to the cross!

No! In his sacrificial death Jesus was surrendering to the will of His Father whom He was One with through the Holy Spirit! As we submit to the Father, and His faithfulness and Lordship, we learn to lay down our rights for the will of the Father! Remember the Garden of psychological torment for Jesus...'Not my will but yours be done' was the outcome of One who had learned perfect obedience through what He suffered, and exemplified in the most vivid and loving way what perfect love looks like!

Perfect love is surrendering our will to God's will. Its about dying to self, more than a warm fuzzy feeling, so that God can live through us more and more! Its not an easy track but its a track where fear has less and less of a 'landing strip' to alight on us and tie us down through control, manipualtion and intimidation.

When we are in a given situation or relationship where manipulation is prevalent we need to have the following posture: 'I am going to go God's way, will not be forced to do something against my will, will operate in God's peace in this situation no matter what the other person thinks or says and no matter what the consequence is' At this point the 'hook' the enemy uses to put fear (with control) on us has nowhere to attach itself...and freedom reigns!

Perfect love dear friends, casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. Indeed, in suffering for Jesus, there is a difference between this and punishment. God does not punish His children (Jesus took this) but He will discipline us as sons and allow our faith to grow towards perfection through suffering and learning to walk in perfect agape love.

A love that is bigger than consequences or fear of outcomes. A love founded on a greater love, bestowed by the One who first loved us.

JS

The God who gives life to the dead

I have just finished reading one of my favourite passages of the entire Bible - Romans chapter 4. This is a piece of theology that helps us to believe. This is not any type of belief though. It is not 'Seeing is believing' faith, rather it is the faith of 'Believing is seeing'! Christian faith is not a faith solely in oneself, of pumped up self-esteem, and positivity alone. Christian faith is a belief in Christ, and in His power alone to raise the dead...let me explain.

Romans 4v3 Paul states,
" What does the Scripture say? "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to Him as righteousness" "

Abraham did not work or earn the 'credits' of God's righteousness to his 'bankrupt' spiritual state. It was by faith that he received God's justice and blessing, apart from his own efforts.

The Bible makes it abundantly clear regarding the fact that man without Christ's salvation is 'dead in trespasses and sins' Ephesians 2:1. It is only Christ who can 'raise' us spiritually and that through the finished work of the cross. Believing is nothing by itself. No amount of believing there IS a God will save us! Even the demons believe, the Bible tells us...We need rather to believe in such a way that understands we are truly in the morgue spiritually without Christ and His resurrection power! We then 'receive' (not earn) His gift of righteousness, quite apart from our own merits or achievements, so that the Holy Spirit can makes us 'alive' to God (Romans 6:11)

Here's another tasty morsel though, for the hungry of heart...for those who hunger and thirst for righteousness and desire to bear fruit for God's glory.

Our inheritance, that is the deeds (including reward) that should eminate from our right-standing in Christ, are also something we are powerless to achieve outside of His grace!

Even though 'His children' (those born into HIS Kingdom) are spiritually alive to God by the Holy Spirit, we have to learn to trust in Him and work with Him in order to be a fruit-bearer in us and through us ('Apart from me you can do nothing' Jesus said in John 15) Back to Romans 4..

Paul reveals "It was not through law Abraham believed and his offspring received the promise that he would be heir of the world, but through the righteousness that comes by faith"

This is like God reinforcing that 'as you began in Grace, so must you continue in Grace'

Too often as a believer I have tried stuff in my own efforts or strength.

Sometimes I have felt I 'had what it takes' to get a job done, or to see some 'Kingdom' progress. This is sometimes happening more unconsciously than consciously in us! Our prayerlessness may be a reflection of a deeper root of self-sufficiency that denotes a root of man-centeredness. It is often at the end of exhausting self-effort and 'trying' that I have been reminded that 'it is not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit of the Lord'!

Abraham faced the fact that he and Sarah, hopeing and longing for their child of Promise and inheritance, were physically decrepid, barren and unable to bear children - that is apart from the Promise giver's power to make the impossible become possible.

They learned the obedience of faith

, having done all 'they stood' and believed in a God who gives life to that which is dead.

" As it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations" He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed-the God who gives life to the dead amd calls things that are not as though they were" Romans 4v17

"Therefore the promise comes by faith, so that it may be guarenteed to all Abraham's offspring-not only to those who are of the law...." Romans 4v16

Do you know the promises of God are for you? Do you have them hidden in your heart? Will you also today remember that it doesn't matter how impossible or improbable it appears for God to fulfil His promises in your life or nation, because like Abraham and Sarah's 'dying' bodies,

He is the God 'WHO GIVES LIFE TO THE DEAD' and fulfils His promises to those who trust in faith in Him as the Promise giver.

JS